Ode to the Hookers

This weekend I had a rockin' good time. Shana and the kiddos went off camping with her family and I stayed at home alone (I don't like tent camping). Before she left, Shana left me with one rule: "No Hookers."

Hence the title of this post. Rules are meant to be broken.

Anyway, being home alone is fantastic. Not because I don't love my family...I do. But because it was a weekend of quiet (omg, SOOOOO very very quiet) and a weekend where I get to do whatever the hell I want.

I started off the weekend by waving goodbye to the kids, checking theater showtimes on my iPhone, and then hauling ass out to the Theater. Honestly, I couldn't have been more than 5 minutes behind the family on the road. When I had checked, I saw that Terminator was playing right then, and I couldn't think of a better way to kick off my weekend. Walked in right as the previews were starting. Perfect timing.

Terminator was....okay. I didn't hate it. I didn't love it either. It just...well, it was average. Exactly what I expected it to be. Nothing more. Nothing less. When the movie was over, I popped over to my favorite grocery store and walked around waiting to be...inspired.

Shana doesn't generally like it when I cook. I can get messy in the kitchen at times and...I haven't used an actual recipe since I was 12. I just kinda...cook. As a result, sometimes the stuff I make turns out great, other times...not so much. I'm mostly the steak and grill king in her mind. Still, she has turned a few of my inventions into recipes that are normal fare in the house now. My cheesy green chili enchiladas for example are a big family favorite.

Anyway, I walked around the store until some nice lamb caught my eye and I decided to make Gyro's. Except that I didn't really have a spit available to do it right, so I amended it and decided to go with 'Gyro Burgers'. They turned out pretty tasty, but I made a few discoveries:

1) Lamb is greasy. This was a 6 napkin meal. (or a shirt destroying meal, in my case)
2) The feta cheese that I picked up was AMAZING. Seriously, I have to find more things to put this stuff on. Yum.
3) Putting a burger on a pita sounded good while I was in the store, but in practice, it wasn't a good plan. Pita is for Gyro, not Gyro burgers.
4) Putting Cayenne Pepper on lamb is really, really good. I was afraid to do it as I didn't know how it would turn out, but yum. This supports my theory that Cayenne Pepper makes anything taste better.

Anyway, besides that I read a book, played some video games, and watched Firefly...all of Firefly. Oh, and I went and saw Angels and Demons too. Much better than Terminator (though a totally different genre). It was all very indoorsy on a weekend that was so sunny and nice that it absolutely BEGGED you to be outside. But that's ok. I had a great weekend anyway.

Getting up for work this morning was really hard. I need a nap.

The Grub Hut

Out in Kingston, where I live, there isn't much to the town. It has a ferry dock, and a lot of traffic, but it isn't a destination...it is just 'on the way' to the northern Kitsap Peninsula locations like Poulsbo, Silverdale, and Bremerton, and Olympic Peninsula locations like the Olympic National forest, Port Angeles, Sequim, and others.

The town doesn't have much of a life unto it's own. It has two grocery stores, a few gas stations, and a bunch of houses, including mine. It is quiet. There are maybe 4-5 restaraunts total in the vicinity, and only 2-3 of them could you find easily without hunting for them.

Don't get me wrong, I like the isolation. But it does get annoying to have to go AT LEAST to Poulsbo (about 10 minutes away) to get....anything.

Well, yesterday I had the day off of work, so I took the wife out to a new(er) resteraunt in Kingston that just opened last January called 'The Grub Hut'. Yes, I'm sure your mouth is watering with the mention of the name. I felt about the same way. But, the kids were in school, and I didn't really need to be anywhere, so I figured it was as good a time as any to try out a new place.

Before I go into the experience, it might be helpful to note the LAST experience we had in going out to a new local restaurant. It was called...well, I don't remember. But it was a Mongolian Grill type of place in Poulsbo. It has since closed, and for good reason.

The food there was....disgusting. And I'm being kind. The service was horrendous. Shana ordered a plate of fried rice while the kids and I did the 'mongolian grill'. The meat on the mongolian grill was terrible, and I think a little spoiled. The vegetables looked like they were picked months ago, and I think the guy manning the grill hadn't showered in a few weeks.

We got to our table, choked down our 'meal' (barely), and after about 15 minutes...the waitress (who we couldn't find) finally brought us our drink order and told us that Shana's rice "would be out in a few minutes". About a half hour later, we found the waitress again, and she went back and got the cold rice that had been sitting on the shelf getting cold for 10 minutes. I had hunt down and almost physically restrain the waitress so I could get her to give me the check so I could leave that dump. It was a horrible experience.

So anyway, having been burned before by 'local fare', we were cautious in approaching this new place, particularly with the name 'Grub Hut'.

We were pleasantly surprised. We walked in the door, and was immediately greeted by a friendly waitress that explained the procedure for the restaurant. We were to sit in any booth we liked, peruse the menus, and come up to order at the counter whenever we liked. Very old-school diner style. Nice.

We sat down at a booth and took our time with the menus, but never felt rushed. The atmosphere of the place was like a open and airy bar someplace tropical. It was a nice vibe. The kitchen was open (and clean!). The menu was a nice mix of gourmet burgers, and the largest selection of milk shake flavors I think I have ever seen.

We finally both settled on the same burger actually, and I went up to the counter to order. The burger that we ordered was a very large (at least a half pound) helping of meat, lots of thick sliced bacon, fried onion sticks, Gorgonzola cheese, with fresh spinach and a sliced tomato. All of it was served on a absolutely fresh bun.

In short, everything I love on a burger.

To go with the burger, I went with a Peach milkshake, and Shana went with a Caramel. The milkshakes were fresh, made with quality ice cream. And they were REALLY good.

Before I go, I just have to mention the way the meat was cooked. Too often when you go to a burger place, they over-grind and over-cook the meat and you are left with a 'burger hockey puck' that doesn't really taste like...meat. This burger was cooked perfectly and ground to perfection.

The fries that were served with the meal were perfectly cooked...almost crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, and seasoned really well. The only (slight) complaint that Shana and I had was that the fries may have been a bit too salty. But certainly not enough to put a damper on a great meal.

A burger place doesn't sound complicated, but it is all too easy to get wrong. The Grub Hut isn't complicated at all, and it definitely doesn't get it wrong.

I will be back, and I will be taking people I like with me. If you are ever in town (on the way to somewhere else, I'm sure), I encourage you to stop by the Grub Hut. You will not be disappointed.

Teacher Layoffs

Today, I read some troubling news. The Seattle city school district is announcing a whole bunch of layoffs.

Teachers. They are laying off Teachers now.

Now, I'm no expert. Really. But, I once read this somewhere, and it resonated with me: "If you don't spend the money on schools now, you are destined to spend the money on prisons later."

I believe that education is the long term way out of this economic crisis. If the United States is to take a top spot in the global economic competition, it will not be accomplished on the backs of the folks making minimum wage asking if I 'want fries with that burger'. It will be accomplished through innovation from educated people.

Of course, politicians don't want to think long term. They have elections to win in the short term, and those elections will be won by balancing the budget today. And if they cut projects like a tunnel that replaces the Alaskan-way viaduct, the supporters of that project will accuse them of not wanting to create jobs. They will run commercials to that effect when re-election time approaches, and people will be dumb enough to believe what they see on TV, and another politician bites the dust.

Of course, the reality is that the jobs they are creating are mostly bullshit middle-management jobs. Nobody ever talks about that. Oh, plus a few people will get 22 bucks an hour to stand on the highway with marker signs that tell people 'detour' or 'slow'. Those are vital positions. They will save the economy.

I guess I'm not really bitter about the tunnel. It will create jobs, and those jobs will put more money into the economy, and this is all a good thing. I'm just bitter that they can't find a way to save the job of probably the most important role in our society: the teacher.

I guess I just think that in this world we live in, a good teacher gets to:

1) Get paid a pittance
2) Have to worry about getting laid off each year due to elected officials that can't budget properly.
3) Probably get a 2nd job over the summer just to make ends meet.
4) Work as many hours as they have to in order that a kid can get a quality education, all the while dealing with inattentive parents that only talk to them when they have a complaint.

How very sad. How many more good teachers could we, as a country, attract if they were all paid well, had job security, and had attentive parents that actively partnered with the teachers in their child's education?

And how many of the kids would those good teachers affect? How many of those kids would go on to become pioneers, inventors, and leaders of the future?

I guess we will never know.

Past meets the present

This post really should be one line, but I can't talk about it without telling a VERY long story. This is the story about how I met my wife. At least the parts I remember. During some parts of the story, I was fairly intoxicated.

It was Friday night in my barracks, around October'ish. I was in the Army, and had just come off restriction from some trouble I had gotten into. (the official reason was 'disrespectful facial gestures toward a non-commissioned officer'. *sigh*). Regardless of the restriction, I was feeling pretty good...I was getting the hell out of the Army in a month and I really wanted to get the hell out of the Army.

Anyway, it was Friday night, in 1996, and I was still 20 years old, but most of the guys I hung out with were either 21 or had all just turned 21...so they went out drinking without me.

Stuck alone in the barracks I was pondering what I wanted to do on Friday night. I had more or less decided to stay in when another soldier from my unit was tooling around the barracks looking for a ride out to "Dakotas", an all-ages nightclub out in Kent.

Now, bear in mind that I HATE all-ages nightclubs. First of all, I had been stationed previously in Germany, and was thus able to go out to any club I wanted to go to while I was there (they don't card. If you are able to see over the bar, you can order a drink.) When I got back to the states, I tried out the all-ages scene and...well, it was a haven for underage girls..

In fact, I had one time met a very nice girl at one of the underage clubs, hung out a little bit with her, and ALMOST did some things that, I later found out, would have been a felony. It was only after mulling over some things she said earlier in the conversation in my mind when I realized that maybe I ought to ask how old she was. Subtley. I'm the king of subtle. ("Oh my god, how old are you?")

When she answered that she was....fourteen(!!!!). I quickly remembered an early formation I had the next morning. A very early formation. In fact, starting like...15 minutes from now. RUN!

So lets just say I wasn't a huge fan of the underage club scene. In addition, this 'Dakotas', the club he wanted to go to, was... a country music club. With like...line dancing. Yeah. And the guy who wanted to go with me was dressed up complete with a white cowboy hat and a belt buckle big enough to serve turkey dinner at Thanksgiving on. But it was that or stay in on Friday night so...

I have this relationship with Country Music. I tolerate it's existence. Barely. I'm really not a fan. At all. I am however a fan of watching girls with tight jeans goof around on a dance floor. So, with that thought in my head, I drove this other soldier (we will call him Z...names have been changed to protect the incredibly nerdy) over to Dakotas.

Throughout the night I tried to talk up some girls (the OLDER looking ones...I had learned my lesson.). I was shot down every single time. I'm pretty sure they were all lesbians. (Side note: I'm reasonably certain that every girl who ever shot me down in my single days was a lesbian. This may be a delusion that existed merely to stroke my bruised ego, or possibly Seattle and Germany were the lesbian capitals of the UNIVERSE. You decide.)

It really wasn't my night. So I grabbed a coke (*sigh*...underage club) and sat in the corner and watched people dance to music that I hated.

Right about then, I was thinking I really should have stayed home. I did however get the opportunity to witness Z, in all his glory, get shot down by every girl in the place as well. Some might say it was vindictive of me to be entertained by his antics, and maybe it was, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

After Z had got shot down by everyone of the opposite gender, the night was winding down and the club was getting ready to close, so we went outside to have a cigarette (This was back before I quit the nasty habit).

Outside, Z went over to chat up a 'friend' he saw outside smoking. He introduced me to Katie (his...'friend') and her friend Shana, and quite frankly, I was barely paying attention during the introductions. I had been shot down by every girl (lesbians!) in the place that night and I was feeling fairly down and really just wanted to get home. Still, the blonde in the group (who I mistakenly thought was Katie) was pretty hot and very outgoing. She had a great personality (rack), and an intoxicating smile (boobs).

I don't remember many of the details from that conversation except I remember that I insulted her choice in cigarette (she was smoking Marboro lights, which I thought were terrible tasting cigarettes...I was a connoisseur I guess), and we compared jeans sizes. I also remember that she was very elated to discover she had a smaller waist size in jeans than I did. A stranger she just met. The conversation left an impression on me because we discussed the STRANGEST things and jumped around from topic to topic so naturally. She had (well, still has) a habit of following a conversation wherever it goes, with absolutely no regard for controlling what topics are discussed. You can literally change the subject mid-sentence and she can follow you, and respond accordingly. Considering how absolutely random my brain gets from time to time, I absolutely love that about her.

The conversation left an impression on me, and when we finally left the club I thought 'Damn, I should have tried to get Katie's number!' (I still had their name's confused, heh).

After we got into the car, Z was absolutely certain that the girls were into us. He insisted that Katie wanted him. Which I thought was odd, because he had been chatting up the girl I thought was Shana. Anyway, I went with the standard testosterone laden response. "Oh yeah, we could have totally got some tail if the club wasn't closing".

As we pulled out of the parking lot, we actually saw the girls pulling out as well. They were headed in the same direction as us, and we commented on it. We followed them up the long windy road up toward the freeway (well, we weren't following them yet...we just happened to be going to the same freeway entrance).

We got on the freeway behind them, and drove along. I moved into the far left lane...had about a half hour drive ahead of us to get back to the barracks. The girls were in the right lane. Z, in the passenger seat suddenly yelled "Dude, they are taking this exit, follow them!". I'm like..."what?". He was like "DUDE, FOLLOW THEM!!". So I cut over through 3 lanes and got off the freeway behind them.

At this point I just realized what I had done and how this looked, had they been paying attention to what we did. I felt like a super-stalker. Seriously. I thought about how to cover what happened...there is a Taco Bell on this exit...maybe we just wanted to make a run for the border. Yeah. That's it. I just really wanted a burrito.

We followed them off the freeway exit, and Z kept telling me 'Dude, its cool man, just follow them home, it will be fine, Katie is totally into me. You can have Shana. It will be totally cool'. Meanwhile I'm imagining them calling the cops, and trying to figure out how I'm going to talk my way out of jail time.

We come to a red light and I tell him. 'Dude, get out of the car and go talk to them. You'd better explain that we are not stalkers and get their permission or I'm turning the car around.'. He runs over to their car and I can't hear what they are saying, but he finally runs back to my car, gets in and says that it is "totally cool... they invited us over to their apartment".

I still highly doubt that is what the girls actually said, and would love to be able to go back in time and witness how that conversation actually went.. But for some reason, Z was convincing enough that I thought maybe, just maybe, the girls wouldn't call the cops on us.

We follow them to their apartment and Z tells me 'I'll put the moves on Katie, you just talk up Shana and stay out of my way. When I get Katie back to her bedroom, you will be clear to work on Shana.'. I'm like...okay.

We get inside and he starts to hit on the brunette...and I finally catch on that the blonde was actually Shana. I sit and talk with Shana while Z tries to put "the moves" on Katie. And it is literally the funniest thing I've ever seen before in my life. He is...young. And it is pretty clear to everybody in the room, except Z, that she is not at all into him. Meanwhile I'm chatting up Shana and having a conversation. I'm not really hitting on her per se...I didn't really think she was interested in me at the time. Mostly I was just really entertained by watching Z and Katie, heh.

After a couple hours, we say our goodbye's (it was like 3-4am, heh), and head out. I'm leaving thinking that Shana isn't into me at all, and Z is leaving thinking Katie is 100% crazy about him (hey, I didn't see it, but who am I to rain on a parade?).

After we closed the door, I'm walking to the car and Katie runs out into the street behind us, without any shoes on:
"Paul! You are from California, right?"
"umm, yep."
"You are getting out of the Army soon right?"
"umm...yeah"
"Ok, see ya!"

And she runs back inside the apartment. I'm thinking 'that was weird', but I get in the car and start to drive away. Just as we are pulling away, I see Katie running after us again. I roll down my window.
"You are staying in town when you get out?"
"Yeah"
"Ok, Shana wants your number."

I give it to her, and drive away. My weird-o-meter is stuck on super-high at this point. On the ride home, Z tells me all about how he would have totally "hit that" if Shana and I had not been around. Riiiight.

Meanwhile I'm thinking I really should have tried to hit on Shana more...I think she might have been more interested in me than I thought. Sweet.

The next day I went to a friend's going away party, where I got SUPER wasted (my friend was getting out of the Army, or being transferred...or possibly just going on leave. Don't remember. We really didn't need much of an excuse to have a party in those days, so could have been anything.).

Anyway, I was out of my mind drunk, when I ran into Z at the party. He asked if I wanted to go out to Dakota's tonight with those girls we met. I told him there was no way I was driving today, and he said it was cool...he could be the Designated Driver. He called them and set it up while I forgot about it and proceeded to drink more. A lot more.

Somehow Z set up to meet them at their apartment and we took separate cars to the club. Z was going to get Katie alone and put the moves on her, and I was going to put the moves on Shana. Z would go home with Katie in her car and I would sober up enough to take Shana home in mine. This was the plan.

Unfortunately we got to the club, and while I went to the bathroom to...umm....lose some excess alcohol via the same method that it entered my body (I threw up. Violently.), Z and the girls disappeared. After looking around lost for a while, I found them on the dance floor. They went into the club to actually line dance, and I...couldn't line dance. This was the one (and only) moment in my life where I actually wished I knew how to line dance. (Did I mention I was wasted?) Anyway, I went and bought some gum to fix my vomit-breath and tried not to look too drunk.

I think I found Shana for one 'slow dance' (the only real dance I was able to successfully accomplish in this place) and thought I had scored decent points with her, but after the dance, she rushed back to her friend to go do more line dancing. Feeling shot down, I decided, once again, that she was completely uninterested in me (and probably a lesbian).

So I'm sulking at a table, drinking my coke, my buzz is going away, and music that I hated was playing really loudly. It wasn't a good moment for me. I kinda wished I hadn't left the going away party.

A couple hours later, we all decide to go home...in the cars we all came in (so much for 'the plan'), when Z somehow wrangled an invitation for us to come over to the girls' apartment for a nightcap. We went over to their apartment, where Z humorously tried to hit on Katie again, while Shana and I talked. And talked. And talked.

Somehow or other while we were talking, Katie went to bed (Alone, heh), and Z fell asleep on the floor of the living room.

Shana and I continued to talk. All night long. I actually found her interesting and entertaining. And I wasn't even staring at her boobs when I was thinking that.

The next morning, we had breakfast and had a rather humorous time when Katie's parents stopped by to visit ("hi, it is super early in the morning, and there are two guys that clearly slept here last night in your daughter's apartment! Good times!). After the parental visit, it was time for us to go and we finally said our goodbyes. I made a date for Shana and I (sans Z/Katie) to meet up the next night, and on the way back to Fort Lewis...I thought that Shana might actually be interested in me after all. Except that when I had tried to go in for a goodbye kiss, she backed away. Mixed signals much? Damn women.

On the way back Z, of course, thought Katie still TOTALLY wanted him. Forever the optimist that one. He tried many times while Shana and I were dating to get me to set him up with Katie. It never worked out.

I dated Shana for a while and eventually, she didn't back away from a kiss. 11+ years of marriage and two kids later, I'm *reasonably* sure she was interested in me. Maybe after 20 years I'll be certain.

Anyway, that was a long story, but to get back to the post I was trying to make...

I saw a guy on the ferry today that looked TOTALLY like Z. Had a white cowboy hat on and a GIANT belt buckle. The kicker was he was with a girl that, I swear to god, looked exactly like Katie. I tried not to stare, but I was chuckling to myself the whole way to work today.

And now you know why.

Shana IM's

More wifey IMs for funs:

Shana: So Chris's practice has been canceled for tonight
Shana: Where do you want me to go for dinner tonight?
Paul: subway?
Shana: That's fine...it will just take a little while to pick it up after Janel's practice is over...
Shana: And I need to get chips...maybe some drinks from the store...what would you like for that?
Paul: Get a 2 liter of coke for me, and BBQ ruffles
Shana: Why do you want a 2 liter?
Paul: because I want a mixer for rum and coke
Shana: gotcha
Paul: rum without the coke is just...rum
Shana: alkey
Shana: ;-)
Paul: if you drink it straight up, you are an alcholoic. If you mix with coke, you are a social drinker
Shana: But you need to be social to be a social drinker....and you are not social
Paul: I'm very social
Paul: you have no idea what you are talking about.
Shana: you misspelled very. It's a-n-t-i
Paul: I talk to people all the time.
Paul: that is social
Paul: the very definition in fact.
Paul: antisocial implies I'm against being social. I'm not particularly against it. Nor am I particularly for it. It just exists, and I accept it.
Paul: I'm apathetic about it.
Shana: whatever.
Paul: I'm socially neutral.
Paul: I'm the switzerland of the social scene.
Shana: There you go
Paul: ...you will not get the last word in this conversation.
Shana: What the hell
Shana: is wrong with you?!
Paul: moi?
Shana: I'm leaving to shower.
Paul: okay
Shana: Love you
Paul: you are really leaving because you can't handle my IM conversational skills (which is...SOCIAL). I win.
Paul: I
Paul: WIN
Shana: no you don't
Paul: WINNER = ME
Shana: you are such a turd!
Paul: a winning turd
Shana: ewww
Shana: I'm going
Paul: waving the white flag of defeat I see
Paul: I win
Shana: no i win. LAST!
Shana has left the conversation.
Paul: just admit I won and I'll leave you alone.
Paul: WINNER WINNER WINNER IS ME
Paul: I LOVE BEING A WINNER
Shana disconnected

Wolverine Movie Review

I went and saw the new Wolverine Flick this weekend. And....it didn't suck.

Which is good, because I went into it thinking that it would suck. And suck hard.

But, it wasn't too bad. It was watchable.

The storyline might ring familiar since...I dunno, it has been done a billion and a half times:

"Hero is good at war and soldier-like things, but walks away from the violence to settle down and live happily ever after with the woman he loves. But alas! His past catches up with him, someone attacks, kills, and/or kidnaps the woman he loves, and now our hero has to do battle with the forces of evil to save/rescue/avenge her!"

I dunno. I might have seen this plot before. (see: every Arnold Schwarzeneger, Jean-Claude Van Damm, Steven Segal, and/or Chuck Norris movie ever made. Except Kindergarten Cop...wtf was up with that movie anyway?)

That aside, I didn't go to the theater for amazing plot elements that shocked and surprised me. The plot, while stale, executed well enough on the well established action-genre formula. The acting was decent, the action was okay. Nothing to write home about, but nothing that looked particularly stupid or ill-conceived.

The thing that I hated about the movie though is that all the good parts were in the trailer, or I had already heard about them. Wouldn't it have been cool to not know Gambit was in the movie and see him throw the cards at Logan for the first time in that New Orleans tavern on the big screen? (side note: Cameo in that scene by Daniel Negreanu! This was not in the trailer! Doubt anybody who isn't a WPT geek knows who it is though.)

Because that scene was spoiled by the trailers, I saw it and was disappointed that there wasn't more Gambit throughout the movie. Literally, he didn't throw cards again...just what he did in the trailer. Had that scene not been in the trailer, I'd have been all blown away and walked out of the movie in super geek-happiness that they included a small role for Gambit. Alas, I just walked out disappointed. Way to setup my expectations and fail me, movie promoters.

I guess the way they do trailers gets butts in the seats, but I wish they wouldn't give away the whole fucking movie all the time.

I give this movie a 5/10. Not really worth a Theater visit, but doesn't make me want to cut myself.

Ambush

The following is a short scene I wrote a while ago. While I have written fictional stories before, this is my first real attempt at writing an 'action' sequence. I like a lot of things about the scene, but my biggest criticism is in my overuse of the word 'bandit'. I wish I could figure out how to be less generic. I think it would lead to less confusion about who is attacking whom in a sequence like this.

My biggest win in all of this is my avoidance of using a parenthetical statement. I rely on them far too much whenever I write anything. It is a bad habit. I also use "..." a lot when writing, and I used it once here. I wish I hadn't done it, but I like dramatic pauses too much to quit cold turkey.

Gaellen put his ear low to the ground next to the tracks he had been following for most of the day. Sniffing the air, he could smell the scent of the animal. It was close now. He hadn't expected his prey to venture this close to the main shipping road, but it was quite convenient for him. It would make it easy to get the meat back to the market. Gaellen smiled at his luck.

As quietly as he could, he reached back into his quiver and pulled an arrow. Peeking up through the underbrush, he took a look up ahead, and he saw his target. A large buck was sipping some water from a small puddle created by the night's rainfall. As silently as he could, Gaellen raised his bow and carefully sighted down the shaft of his arrow. *snap* The sound of a branch breaking nearby was enough to spook the buck into bolting behind a tree and down into the large ravine up ahead, away from the road. Gaellen cursed under his breath and made a move to give chase, when suddenly a feeling he could not explain stopped him dead in his tracks. Instinctively, Gaellen lowered himself back down to the ground and looked around for the source of the noise that had spooked his prey.

At first he didn't see them, they were well camouflaged. But Gaellen had become a creature of the woods, and his eyes found the twigs that were out of place...the leaves that shouldn't be where they were. There were people here, and they were hiding out watching the road. From the position he was in, he started to count the hiding spots. At least 8 of them that Gaellen could see from where he was.

Gaellen didn't have much contact with people anymore outside of the market where he sold his meat and skins, but he was not naive. He knew that honest people didn't hide out on the side of the road, hidden in the underbrush. These were bandits, waiting to ambush the next unsuspecting traveller that came along.

Gaellen backed away as slowly and as quietly as he could. These bandits weren't his problem, and he definitely didn't want to get involved. He heard another noise, louder this time, coming down from the road. A Fayen merchant convoy was approaching, making it's way slowly up the road, unaware of the ambush that awaited them. Two soldiers rode out in front of three merchant wagons, overflowing with vegetables to sell at the market. The wagons were followed by a lavishly decorated carriage and two more soldiers on horseback. Gaellen decided to use the convoy's arrival as a distraction, so that he could sneak quickly away from the bandit's positions and back into the deeper woods and safety.

Suddenly the bandit that was closest to Gaellen stood up and cocked his bow, aiming for the rider at the front of the caravan. Acting without thinking, Gaellen lunged toward the man, and shoved him down to the ground. The arrow went wide of it's mark, impacting the carriage. Gaellen heard the soldiers below sounding the alarm and saw the caravan stop with the soldiers mustering into defensive positions as the rest of the bandits let out a war cry and attacked.

He was so distracted by the commotion down on the road below that he almost got hit by the sword of the bandit he had shoved aside. The bandit was up off the ground now and had his sword out and swinging, looking for blood. Gaellen sidestepped the blow and rushed in on the man, tackling him to the ground. Almost without thinking, Gaellen grabbed his hunting knife from his belt and shoved it deep into the man's belly. The bandit tried to cry for help, but Gaellen had punctured his lung so it came out as a soft croak. Even so, it caught the attention of another bandit who had been near the first one's position. Growling, the second bandit pulled his sword from his belt and took a step toward Gaellen.

Gaellen grabbed the fallen bandit's sword and adopted a defensive position. He had only ever picked up a sword once before, but he had watched his father practice many times as a boy. As the bandit closed in and brought his sword down, aiming for Gaellen's throat, Gaellen parried the blow and pirouetted around with perfect form to get a clean slice on the man's left arm. The bandit looked at the wound and bellowed with a mix of rage and pain and attacked with a flurry of blows. Gaellen moved instinctively, parrying to his left, and dodging to his right. Gaellen avoided all of the attacks with the grace of a seasoned fencer. After a few seconds on the defensive, Gaellen turned to offense, echoing back with the same fury he was attacked with. Unfortunately for the bandit, Gaellen was far quicker and he cut the bandit down with seeming effortless ease.

Looking at the two bodies at his feet, he could feel the adrenaline making his heart beat a million times a minute. The battle below on the road still raged on and the merchants were nearly overrun. The soldiers had abandoned the wagons and taken up defensive positions around the carriage. One of the soldiers was on top of the carriage, firing arrows into the bandits below. Gaellen saw that he had underestimated the number of bandits in the party, since there were nearly 15 of them advancing on the carriage.

Gaellen was about to turn to leave back into the forest when he saw the carriage door open and a beautiful Fayen girl jump out. She had a blade in her hand that was more than half the length of her body, but whisper thin. She had a crimson dress on that looked like it had been torn off above her thigh. "Relana! Get back inside! It is not safe!", yelled the man on top of the carriage. Gaellen watched as the girl smiled softly and charged into battle, ignoring the soldier.

As she moved into battle, Gaellen was awestruck by her skill with a sword and the beauty of her motions. Her blade moved faster than anything Gaellen had ever seen. She looked like a dancer as she cut down two bandits effortlessly while parrying the attacks of a third.

Suddenly Gaellen saw another bandit between his position and Relana. The bandit had his bow out, and was aiming straight for her heart. Gaellen could tell that she didn't see him. Without thinking, Gaellen charged down the ridge, leaping over several large stones. He was about 10 meters away when he saw he wasn't going to make it in time, so he threw his sword at the bandit. His aim was true, and it ran directly through the bandits heart, dropping him to the ground instantly, the bandit's arrow still cocked in his bow.

Gaellen's actions drew the attention of three other bandits nearby, who moved to attack him. Now unarmed, Gaellen dodged the first sword blow, but the second would have sliced his head clean off, if not for the arrow that plunged into the bandit's throat who was about to cut Gaellen down. Gaellen looked and the soldier who was standing on top of the carriage firing arrows, gave a slight tilt of his head in salute, before cocking another arrow to loose at the bandits fighting near Relana.

Gaellen grabbed the fallen soldier's sword and began on the defensive against the two remaining foes attacking him. Parrying, dodging, and spinning for all he was worth, he searched frantically for an opening in the defenses of his opponents. Finally he saw the bandit to his right drop his shoulder and overextend just a little bit on his attack. Gaellen exploited the opening and lunged, knocking him off balance while twisting behind him to stab his sword into the man's kidney. He fell like a rock. Ducking under the final bandit's attempt to cut his head off, Gaellen pulled his sword out of the dying body of the first bandit and brought it up under the jawline of the second. His sword plunged through his neck, severing an artery and spraying blood all over Gaellen and the ground around him.

He smiled in victory, and looked to join in for the rest of the battle, but it was over. The bandits were all dead or dying, and of the merchants, only Relana and the man on top of the carriage were still standing. Blood, entrails, and bodies were everywhere around the scene. The adrenaline started to wear off and Gaellen dropped to his knees and began to shake.