My biggest win in all of this is my avoidance of using a parenthetical statement. I rely on them far too much whenever I write anything. It is a bad habit. I also use "..." a lot when writing, and I used it once here. I wish I hadn't done it, but I like dramatic pauses too much to quit cold turkey.
Gaellen put his ear low to the ground next to the tracks he had been following for most of the day. Sniffing the air, he could smell the scent of the animal. It was close now. He hadn't expected his prey to venture this close to the main shipping road, but it was quite convenient for him. It would make it easy to get the meat back to the market. Gaellen smiled at his luck.
As quietly as he could, he reached back into his quiver and pulled an arrow. Peeking up through the underbrush, he took a look up ahead, and he saw his target. A large buck was sipping some water from a small puddle created by the night's rainfall. As silently as he could, Gaellen raised his bow and carefully sighted down the shaft of his arrow. *snap* The sound of a branch breaking nearby was enough to spook the buck into bolting behind a tree and down into the large ravine up ahead, away from the road. Gaellen cursed under his breath and made a move to give chase, when suddenly a feeling he could not explain stopped him dead in his tracks. Instinctively, Gaellen lowered himself back down to the ground and looked around for the source of the noise that had spooked his prey.
At first he didn't see them, they were well camouflaged. But Gaellen had become a creature of the woods, and his eyes found the twigs that were out of place...the leaves that shouldn't be where they were. There were people here, and they were hiding out watching the road. From the position he was in, he started to count the hiding spots. At least 8 of them that Gaellen could see from where he was.
Gaellen didn't have much contact with people anymore outside of the market where he sold his meat and skins, but he was not naive. He knew that honest people didn't hide out on the side of the road, hidden in the underbrush. These were bandits, waiting to ambush the next unsuspecting traveller that came along.
Gaellen backed away as slowly and as quietly as he could. These bandits weren't his problem, and he definitely didn't want to get involved. He heard another noise, louder this time, coming down from the road. A Fayen merchant convoy was approaching, making it's way slowly up the road, unaware of the ambush that awaited them. Two soldiers rode out in front of three merchant wagons, overflowing with vegetables to sell at the market. The wagons were followed by a lavishly decorated carriage and two more soldiers on horseback. Gaellen decided to use the convoy's arrival as a distraction, so that he could sneak quickly away from the bandit's positions and back into the deeper woods and safety.
Suddenly the bandit that was closest to Gaellen stood up and cocked his bow, aiming for the rider at the front of the caravan. Acting without thinking, Gaellen lunged toward the man, and shoved him down to the ground. The arrow went wide of it's mark, impacting the carriage. Gaellen heard the soldiers below sounding the alarm and saw the caravan stop with the soldiers mustering into defensive positions as the rest of the bandits let out a war cry and attacked.
He was so distracted by the commotion down on the road below that he almost got hit by the sword of the bandit he had shoved aside. The bandit was up off the ground now and had his sword out and swinging, looking for blood. Gaellen sidestepped the blow and rushed in on the man, tackling him to the ground. Almost without thinking, Gaellen grabbed his hunting knife from his belt and shoved it deep into the man's belly. The bandit tried to cry for help, but Gaellen had punctured his lung so it came out as a soft croak. Even so, it caught the attention of another bandit who had been near the first one's position. Growling, the second bandit pulled his sword from his belt and took a step toward Gaellen.
Gaellen grabbed the fallen bandit's sword and adopted a defensive position. He had only ever picked up a sword once before, but he had watched his father practice many times as a boy. As the bandit closed in and brought his sword down, aiming for Gaellen's throat, Gaellen parried the blow and pirouetted around with perfect form to get a clean slice on the man's left arm. The bandit looked at the wound and bellowed with a mix of rage and pain and attacked with a flurry of blows. Gaellen moved instinctively, parrying to his left, and dodging to his right. Gaellen avoided all of the attacks with the grace of a seasoned fencer. After a few seconds on the defensive, Gaellen turned to offense, echoing back with the same fury he was attacked with. Unfortunately for the bandit, Gaellen was far quicker and he cut the bandit down with seeming effortless ease.
Looking at the two bodies at his feet, he could feel the adrenaline making his heart beat a million times a minute. The battle below on the road still raged on and the merchants were nearly overrun. The soldiers had abandoned the wagons and taken up defensive positions around the carriage. One of the soldiers was on top of the carriage, firing arrows into the bandits below. Gaellen saw that he had underestimated the number of bandits in the party, since there were nearly 15 of them advancing on the carriage.
Gaellen was about to turn to leave back into the forest when he saw the carriage door open and a beautiful Fayen girl jump out. She had a blade in her hand that was more than half the length of her body, but whisper thin. She had a crimson dress on that looked like it had been torn off above her thigh. "Relana! Get back inside! It is not safe!", yelled the man on top of the carriage. Gaellen watched as the girl smiled softly and charged into battle, ignoring the soldier.
As she moved into battle, Gaellen was awestruck by her skill with a sword and the beauty of her motions. Her blade moved faster than anything Gaellen had ever seen. She looked like a dancer as she cut down two bandits effortlessly while parrying the attacks of a third.
Suddenly Gaellen saw another bandit between his position and Relana. The bandit had his bow out, and was aiming straight for her heart. Gaellen could tell that she didn't see him. Without thinking, Gaellen charged down the ridge, leaping over several large stones. He was about 10 meters away when he saw he wasn't going to make it in time, so he threw his sword at the bandit. His aim was true, and it ran directly through the bandits heart, dropping him to the ground instantly, the bandit's arrow still cocked in his bow.
Gaellen's actions drew the attention of three other bandits nearby, who moved to attack him. Now unarmed, Gaellen dodged the first sword blow, but the second would have sliced his head clean off, if not for the arrow that plunged into the bandit's throat who was about to cut Gaellen down. Gaellen looked and the soldier who was standing on top of the carriage firing arrows, gave a slight tilt of his head in salute, before cocking another arrow to loose at the bandits fighting near Relana.
Gaellen grabbed the fallen soldier's sword and began on the defensive against the two remaining foes attacking him. Parrying, dodging, and spinning for all he was worth, he searched frantically for an opening in the defenses of his opponents. Finally he saw the bandit to his right drop his shoulder and overextend just a little bit on his attack. Gaellen exploited the opening and lunged, knocking him off balance while twisting behind him to stab his sword into the man's kidney. He fell like a rock. Ducking under the final bandit's attempt to cut his head off, Gaellen pulled his sword out of the dying body of the first bandit and brought it up under the jawline of the second. His sword plunged through his neck, severing an artery and spraying blood all over Gaellen and the ground around him.
He smiled in victory, and looked to join in for the rest of the battle, but it was over. The bandits were all dead or dying, and of the merchants, only Relana and the man on top of the carriage were still standing. Blood, entrails, and bodies were everywhere around the scene. The adrenaline started to wear off and Gaellen dropped to his knees and began to shake.
More please?